Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A Different Christmas

How have I been since the accident? Not too bad, other than black and blue all over, I'm doing great now. The cuts are almost healed.

I had a very relaxing Christmas break, instead of driving another 10-12 hours PIT-TOR round trip, I stayed at home for the whole 5 days break and made some new friends during the holiday. For Christmas Eve and Christmas day, I spent most of the day in bed, which helped healing the body faster as well as get some beauty sleep I've been missing recently. For the next 2 days, we had some friends come visit, made some new friends-Annie and Hansen, a lovely couple, of course, the hotpot is always the theme for friends' getogether, delicious and convenient...

The last day of the break, I took an early flight from Toronto to Pittsburgh, so that I can spend the day with the family. My two nieces are growing up, Grace is 4.1 and Claire is 1.1 now, both of them are cute and pretty (of course, the Li family has good gene ... :p). I enjoyed time spent and wish I could stay longer. I also know that it's easy to play with Children and have fun, but it's a different story to raise them up. I don't think I'm ready for this yet ... :P ... talking about that, now I remember my friend Julia, her due date is 1/8/09, I guess I'll hear good news from her any time now and she is a brave girl.

Ok, now I'm back to Stamford, and looking forward to New Year, since I could be back to our sweet home for another temp getaway.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Accident

I decided today that I should start a blog to record my new life not because today is Christmas, but because of the accident 2 days ago. I almost got killed at 11:20pm on 12/23/08 on QEW. I could have been died. For the first time in my life I feel death is so close, and life is fragile. I call my survival a miracle. I don’t want to think about that moment, but just can’t help. Every time when the scene occurs in my mind, I can’t help feeling chilly and scared.

How it exactly happened. It was snowing, like it is always in Ontario, Canada, and I was so close to home, only 30+ miles away from our home at Mississauga. I’d been driving for 270+ miles and flew about 5+ hours including airport waiting- time. I was driving in the middle lane on QEW highway, following a pickup truck, and a cargo truck drove behind in the next lane with a crazy speed towards us, which blew the snow in the air. And I was scared and would like to stay away from the speeding cargo truck as far as I could, I made a deadly decision by changing lane to the furthest lane on the highway thought I would be safe by doing so. Somehow when I got into the speed lane and the car was out of control and started skidding into the middle lane and what I knew next was the car was going to crash into the speeding cargo truck, the only thing I knew at that moment was “I am going to die today and in a way that is very very ugly, and how much Lei will be suffering in couple hours when he receives call from the police, and tomorrow is Christmas eve, it sucks”, I still remembered the crashing moment, the passenger side of the car smashed into the cargo truck in between of the front and rear wheels, I saw the spark accompanied by sharp crashing noise, the broken windshield glasses flying towards my face, I believe my mouth at that moment was open or maybe I was saying something like “oh, shit, my god…”, since my mouth was full of tiny broken crispy glasses later when I was sitting in an ambulance. At that very moment, I was thinking “I’m going to die and how it’ll feel like at the moment that my soul gets out of my body”, I was scared, because I was expecting something unexpected. I can’t remember exactly what happened next, since it happened just so quickly and I could barely see anything because the front part of the car was smashed. Next I was hit by the car behind of me, which might have saved my life. The hit pushed my car out of the speeding cargo truck and spun towards the left side of the lane, the driver side of the car then hit the wall solidly and the airbag hit my face. It was painful, but finally the car stopped. I don’t remember how I got out of the car. When I stood next to the crashed car, I was not sure if I was still alive, if this was just my spirit standing there since I felt no pain. There was no car on the highway for couple seconds; just me, the crashed car and the snow blow. and I was not sure. I ran back to the car to make sure I was still alive. “Yes, I am”.

Couple cars drove by but didn’t stop, I started looking for my cell phone in the car to call 911 but I couldn’t find it, then I realized the engine was still running, I turned it off in afraid of explosion. A van finally stopped behind and a gentleman in his 50’s approached me to make sure I was not injured and still remained conscious. He made me sit in his van to stay warm and asked his college boy to look after me to make sure I was really fine as I claimed. I noticed that my fingers were bleeding and there was some blood on my face, I had no idea how I got this and where was the cut. I was shaking and still felt no pain. 15 minutes later, I heard the siren, the ambulance arrived as well as the police, and they moved me into the ambulance and gave me a check to make sure I was fine and didn’t need hospital care…… then the police investigated the accident by asking me how it happened as well as the other 2 truck drivers involved. Finally I sat on the tow truck 2 hours later and the driver dropped me off in a local coffee shop where Lei picked me up. On the way to the coffee shop, the tow truck driver told me when he saw the car like many of the accidents he had seen, he thought I must have died, and “you are an extremely lucky girl”, the tow truck driver said… “Yes, I am”.

I’m sitting here at our cosy home in Mississauga 2 nights after the accident with neck pain, body soar and slightly headache, I know I am lucky this time. The pain and the potential monetary loss are nothing comparing to my life, but luck won’t always accompany me. I need a change. I can’t live the way I was living any more. I’m going for a change, a change towards a better person. I live not only for myself, but the ones who love me. I am looking forward …